Unresolved
by Izzu
Summary: Resurrection-centric. As the confrontation against the Kingdom of Zilkhistan came to an end, Kallen prepared herself to let go of the past and leave the matters between her and Lelouch to remain unresolved.


Resurrection movie gave me some feels though as usual, the show tends to shortchange my fav pairing near the end. So I might as well write my own. Because I need my Lulukallen fix.

[Edit] Ended up rewriting the first part cos I was misremembering the scene near the end and that Lelouch already changed out of the Zero outfit when he talked to Nunnally.

* * *

She caught sight of Lelouch looking almost frantic inside of his room as she walked over towards him. "What's wrong, Lelouch?"

He turned towards her almost immediately.

"My things weren't here! Why—Come to think, I haven't seen C.C. too..."

Kallen felt a prick in her heart as Lelouch kept talking about C.C.

_Right._

There was never any place for her in Lelouch's heart. She was aware of that all these time yet a part of her still wanted to cling on to something. Despite that...

"She left. Just now," she said promptly.

"WHA—" he paused for a moment before dragging her inside and closed the door behind them. "What do you mean she left? Without me?"

Kallen bit her lips. It's just like Lelouch to bluntly break her heart all over again. Even if he never realised that he was doing it to her. She shrugged nonchalantly or at least tried to act as if she wasn't bothered by it.

"I guess seeing you reunited with Nunnally she thought you wouldn't want to be with her anymore. And since she wasn't supposed to appear publicly with anyone anyway, she thought that she might as well quietly leave." Kallen let out a sigh. "But she said that she'd still drop by once a while—"

Lelouch let out a hiss. "That witch talked as if she's the only one who doesn't belong here—so what about me?" He sighed before turning towards her again.

"Where did she go?"

_So this is it..._

Kallen stared straight at his face before looking away.

In the end, she never managed to get herself to confront Lelouch properly and talk about things she always wanted to say to him. How could she? In between the more important matters like saving Nunnally and planning the best strategy to overcome their odds against the Zilkhistan forces, how could she distract him with her own personal matters?

So, in the end, she chose the cowardly path of NOT having fulfilled the wish that's been gnawing inside of her heart. Well, it's not as if she wasn't used to these kinds of things happening to her anyway.

The irony, considering that both of them were_ finally_ alone together and no one would've been able to interrupt them now should she do anything. Kallen just shrugged.

"She'd probably be headed along the same direction as the refugees from this country would be doing at the moment. Since the kingdom's falling apart now, it'd make sense for the people to want to leave. The security should be lax for now, so I guess it's a good time for her to blend herself amongst those people and disappear."

"That idiot! And she thinks she could just leave me here like this?"

Kallen glanced at him. "Are you going to chase after her?"

A nod. "Yeah. There's still something I need to do anyway."

She bit her lips. "What about Nunnally?"

Lelouch let out a sigh. "Nunnally... should be fine without me. I already explained to her that I cannot stay earlier."

"I see."

Kallen turned before walking towards the door. At this point, she might as well send him off properly. Kallen let out a gasp as Lelouch's hand grabbed her hand as she reached towards the doorknob.

"Are you just going to accept this without saying anything? Don't you want to stop me from going?"

_Can I? Would you stay if I ask you to?,_ Kallen asked him inside her mind as she could feel her cheeks starting to burn hot. _But who am I kidding?_

_If Nunnally couldn't make him stay then how could I even—!_

"It... _doesn't matter_. W-why are you still here anyway—go on and chase after that green-haired witch. You might miss her if you dawdle too long here."

A snort. And she could almost imagine a smile sneaking up to that person's face.

"Knowing her, she most likely going to be walking out _very slowly_ while wallowing in her own depressive thoughts. It shouldn't be hard for me to catch up to her. Even with my lack of athletic strength..."

Kallen resisted the urge to counter that retort as she bit her lips.

xxx

He frowned. _That_ didn't work the way he thought it would. Kallen still didn't show any reaction as Lelouch purposely sighed to himself dramatically.

"I'm starting to wish that I was back to being a mindless doll again. You seemed to be much more _comfortable_ with that version of me."

That made her turned around towards him and he could clearly see how beautiful she looked in the dress she was wearing and the rosy tint on her cheeks.

"Y-you—! Did you remember everything that happened between us when you're like that?"

Lelouch shook his head. "Not really. While I do get brief images in my head at times, those memories still felt distant—" Kallen let out a relieved sigh as he grinned, "—but my body seemed to remember." And... that sent her into a frenzy again Lelouch laughed.

"Is it really that hard to face me again after I regained myself back?"

Now it was Kallen's turn to shake her head at him. "It's not that. It's just... I can't really treat you the same way when—anyway, most of the things I wanted to ask you about... I already figured out the answer long ago so—"

She let out a gasp as Lelouch pulled her in and embraced her gently without warning. He held her body tighter when Kallen hadn't responded to his actions.

"Regardless, I still wish that you'd at least try to ask me about it. Or at least make me tell you in person." _Otherwise, I wouldn't have the courage to tell you about it._

Lelouch smiled weakly before letting out a soft sigh. _Very well, since I've already started the ball rolling..._

"My life changed drastically the moment I set my eyes on you. Because of you, I found the path to forge the future that I wanted to create. Because of **you**, the person who called himself Zero came to be."

He heard a scoff coming from her. "No. That's all thanks to C.C., wasn't it? Because _she _was the one who gave you that power you wielded, that you're able to create your own miracles from it. And from the beginning she has been by your side, helping you even before I was aware that you're Zero. _She_ should have received all the credits for all of that."

Lelouch pulled away from her, slightly baffled at her insistence that she was not _equally_ as important than C.C to him, if not _more_.

"How could you downplay your role so much? You ARE important to me, Kouzuki Kallen. My Ace. _My one and only Q1_."

He bit his lips. "As much as my initial motivation had been to create a safer world for Nunnally, that wish had evolved into wanting to create a better future for you and the whole world as well.** Because I met you**. Even if that future had no space for me to be in it, I thought that it might just be fine if at least **you **will be able to live in that better future ."

"As long as at least you're alive to witness it, I'd have no regrets..."

xxx

Kallen felt her breath stilled for a moment before willing herself to be calm.

Was Lelouch trying to tell her what she thought she was hearing? The true meaning of those words he said back in Ikaruga? The reason why he never told her about Zero Requiem, knowing full well that she'd still follow him till the ends of the world?

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to get you involved so I tried my best to make you hate me. There's no point in turning you into a villain as well when I could just take all the burden onto myself."

Lelouch's breath started to hitch. "It pained me that I have to make you witness my death. But that was better than having both of us dying. And I know that you wouldn't have agreed on the plan too."

_You bet I won't_, said Kallen inside her head as she gripped Lelouch's arm tightly before slowly pushing him away.

She sighed. "Well, you've said what you want to say. So now... **go!** Or else you'll really lose sight of _her_."

Kallen bit her lips as she ignored the stabbing pains inside her heart. But better she cut her ties now when she's still in control of the situation.

"I won't ask you to wait."

Kallen felt her resolve starting to crumble again.

"I still had a promise owed to her. That I'll stay by her side till I could fulfil her wish to be able to die as a mortal being. Then after that..."

She glanced up to him, frowning. "What are you talking about?"

Lelouch shrugged. "Kallen. Back then I DID kill the 'gods' in the world of C. Though it turned out, there were still traces of the unconsciousness that remained."

She frowned.

"There's no telling what would happen once we erase all of the remaining traces from that world and how that'll affect the state of C.C.'s immortality."

Lelouch let out a long sigh. "Despite the fact I hadn't intended to do it, I ended up receiving the Code from my father; whether it's because it passed to me when I killed him or if my father actually _willingly_ gave it to me for some reason. And because of that, I managed to survive my _death_."

Kallen blinked. Ah, C.C. had mentioned this before. That the reason she was immortal and why Lelouch's body didn't die was because of the Code.

"I received my father's Code yet my Geass powers still remain. Despite the fact that my Geass should be nullified the moment when I received it. And I've used my Geass a lot ever since then. As well as now." He sighed again.

"There's no telling that my existence now could be permanent or not. Or if I'm now an immortal like her or not, considering that I've wrecked the World of C before." Lelouch heaved another sigh. "Even if C.C. did resurrect—_reconstructed_ me back to this person in front of you, could my existence now... be considered _normal_?" Lelouch held her hand in his own before squeezing it. And it felt as if her own heart was tightened too.

"Could I be selfish now? Would I be allowed to even be selfish? As much as I did want to stay by Nunnally's side, I didn't want my existence to restrict her growth. As much as I wanted you to be with me... I can't—!" Kallen closed her eyes frantically, refusing to look at Lelouch anymore.

_No, please. Lelouch, don't say it!_

She gasped as Lelouch's warmth enveloped her body again as his breath brushed her ear. "I shouldn't expect you to still wait for me, as much as I _wished_ that you would. What should I do?"

Kallen scoffed at that. She should really push him away now, she really should. But before she could think of what to do Lelouch made a sudden move and—!

It was as if time had turned back towards THAT moment again. When the two of them had walked upon the stairs back at the student council's clubhouse and she turned around to pull him into a kiss. He was the one that initiated the gesture this time but her body reacted just the same. She couldn't even pull away!

The taste of his lips was still the same as she remembered. And the softness of his lips against hers—Kallen's eyes snapped open as her memories of her first kiss with Lelouch came back to her. Did Lelouch lean towards her slightly at that time?

She had been overwhelmed by her own feelings back then so she could barely notice it. So back then, did Lelouch responded to her kiss after all? His kiss lingered longer this time as Lelouch's lips taunted her own and urged her to open up to him. She could feel his desperation, as his mouth hungrily tried to savour every taste of her.

She couldn't even tell if her own kiss was as aggressive and desperate as his kiss had been back then. Lelouch pulled away finally, after what seemed like an eternity to her. Despite the fact that the kiss probably only lasted for barely a minute in reality. Kallen closed her eyes again as she felt him planting another soft kiss on her cheek.

"Take care of yourself, Kallen..." he spoke again as Kallen kept her eyes closed still.

xxx

The next moment when she opened her eyes, Lelouch was already gone.

Kallen let out a gasp as she leaned back against the wall behind her before letting herself fall down onto the floor.

"Idiot!" she whispered to herself. "How could I let you go if you kept pulling me back towards you like this?"

Kallen let out a sigh before pulling herself back on her feet and wiping away her tears. "What an annoying guy!" she groaned loudly. But even then, she couldn't help herself but smile weakly.

_As expected of the person who got a hold of her heart all those years ago..._


End file.
